The countdown is on! We have about 4 weeks or less before baby boy Stach is due to arrive. These last few weeks are going to make me an even more patient person than I have become in the last several years!
I have packed, re-packed and packed the baby bag again and again! I want to make sure I have all the cutest outfits to bring baby home in. Glen thinks I am crazy (and I probably am!) but I just want to make sure I have everything needed for our 1-2 week trip to Florida. I am worried how we are going to lug all this stuff with us on the plane! Carseat, baby suitcase, our suitcases and a diaper bag will definitely be a handful. Coming home will be even more interesting with a baby in the mix of it. But we are so excited and just can't wait until we get the call.
We plan to let everyone know when we are on our way to Florida. Once the baby is born, we hope to be able to have him with us when it is time to leave the hospital. We ask for your prayers for the birthmother. We pray that she is at peace with her decision and that baby boy arrives healthy.
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Friday, January 14, 2011
Trip to Florida
We had been looking forward to our trip to Florida for several months now and it was finally upon us! We spent the night at our friends house who lives by the airport just in case the roads got bad. We sure didn't want to miss our flight for this trip! We left for the airport about 2 hours before the flight was scheduled to leave. As we were driving to the airport, we received a call from the attorney in Florida saying that our BM's 1 year-old baby was sick all night and they were at the emergency room. Then she asked if we still wanted to come. I immediately got that sick feeling in my stomach! I told her we would still be there. We thought worst case scenario, we could at least meet her the next morning if we weren't able to do dinner that night. We just said we would call them when we arrived to FL and see what the update was at that time. Our flight left only 20 minutes behind schedule - we were finally going to meet the BM! About 30 minutes into our flight all the passengers on the plane began to smell smoke. It began to worry us all as you can imagine. Within 2 minutes the pilot was on the intercom letting us know that we would be heading back to Kansas City to see what the problem was, but to remain calm! Remain calm - are you kidding me?! For the 30 minutes it took us to return back to KCI the entire plane was silent (except for the ladies behind us that were saying that if it was their time to go, they were okay with it!!) We landed safely and as we pulled up to the terminal there were tons of firemen, policemen and ambulance waiting for our arrival. That was a little concerning but we got off the plane safely. Come to find out, the fan that circulates the air in the cockpit had malfunctioned which caused the smoke smell. Southwest did an excellent job of getting us on a new plane and we were on our way to Florida within an hour of being returned. Our nerves were shot by this time. We called the social worker to see how the BM and her daughter were doing. Everything seemed to be going fine so we planned to have the scheduled dinner just an hour later than expected.
We arrived to the restaurant a few minutes late expecting everyone to be waiting on us. We walked in and the social worker immediately recognized us and welcomed us with a big hug. The BM & BF were running a little behind and were not there yet. As they walked through the door you could tell we were all quite nervous. The social worker introduced us all and we sat down for our dinner. As odd as it may sound, the entire night felt so natural. We absolutely loved the BM & BF and their daughter. Conversation was very good, they asked us lots of questions as did we. They both had a great sense of humor and were very laid back. Dinner winded up being 2 1/2 hours long as we were caught up in conversation the entire time. I don't think I even ate my food! We shared pictures with them of our family & friends and let them know about our day-to-day lives. It was surprising to find out how much they already knew about us just from reading our profile book. They even remembered Ramsey's name! As we left dinner that night, we took pictures together. The BM mentioned to us that if we are able to make it in time, she would like for us to be in the delivery room with her. We were so excited about this possibility! Getting to sleep that night was actually pretty easy as we were worn out from the days events.
On Wednesday we met the social worker and the BM at the 4D sonogram facility. It was a very exciting moment when we learned the baby was a BOY!!! Seeing the pictures of him, his face, hands, feet and his heart beating was just amazing. We couldn't believe how clear the pictures were of how he looks. The lady doing the sonogram mentioned that it looked like he has lots of hair. The BM agreed because she has had a lot of heartburn with this pregnancy!!
After the sonogram was over, we headed to lunch. The lunch conversation was just as good as the night before. Everything just felt so natural. The BM had lots more questions for us that we were happy to answer. Getting to know the BM & BF was such a wonderful experience. We will now have the opportunity one day in the future to let our little boy know more about his birthparents. The entire trip couldn't have gone any better (except for getting there!). We were so grateful to the birthparents for their time and allowing us to get to know them.
It was time to say our goodbye's and head back home. The BM thought that we would be seeing her before March 14th as she thinks the baby will come much sooner. So, we headed back to the airport with our sonogram pictures in hand. Luckily our flight home went much smoother than the flight going there.
It was a world wind of 2 days. It was such an emotional experience it is going to take us a while to calm down from the trip. In the meantime, I plan to start buying some baby boy clothes and such! Only 8 weeks or less until baby boy arrives!!
We arrived to the restaurant a few minutes late expecting everyone to be waiting on us. We walked in and the social worker immediately recognized us and welcomed us with a big hug. The BM & BF were running a little behind and were not there yet. As they walked through the door you could tell we were all quite nervous. The social worker introduced us all and we sat down for our dinner. As odd as it may sound, the entire night felt so natural. We absolutely loved the BM & BF and their daughter. Conversation was very good, they asked us lots of questions as did we. They both had a great sense of humor and were very laid back. Dinner winded up being 2 1/2 hours long as we were caught up in conversation the entire time. I don't think I even ate my food! We shared pictures with them of our family & friends and let them know about our day-to-day lives. It was surprising to find out how much they already knew about us just from reading our profile book. They even remembered Ramsey's name! As we left dinner that night, we took pictures together. The BM mentioned to us that if we are able to make it in time, she would like for us to be in the delivery room with her. We were so excited about this possibility! Getting to sleep that night was actually pretty easy as we were worn out from the days events.
On Wednesday we met the social worker and the BM at the 4D sonogram facility. It was a very exciting moment when we learned the baby was a BOY!!! Seeing the pictures of him, his face, hands, feet and his heart beating was just amazing. We couldn't believe how clear the pictures were of how he looks. The lady doing the sonogram mentioned that it looked like he has lots of hair. The BM agreed because she has had a lot of heartburn with this pregnancy!!
After the sonogram was over, we headed to lunch. The lunch conversation was just as good as the night before. Everything just felt so natural. The BM had lots more questions for us that we were happy to answer. Getting to know the BM & BF was such a wonderful experience. We will now have the opportunity one day in the future to let our little boy know more about his birthparents. The entire trip couldn't have gone any better (except for getting there!). We were so grateful to the birthparents for their time and allowing us to get to know them.
It was time to say our goodbye's and head back home. The BM thought that we would be seeing her before March 14th as she thinks the baby will come much sooner. So, we headed back to the airport with our sonogram pictures in hand. Luckily our flight home went much smoother than the flight going there.
It was a world wind of 2 days. It was such an emotional experience it is going to take us a while to calm down from the trip. In the meantime, I plan to start buying some baby boy clothes and such! Only 8 weeks or less until baby boy arrives!!
Monday, December 20, 2010
Q & A Session
Over the past several months, we have had many questions from family and friends regarding our adoption. So we thought we would take this time to answer some of the most asked questions about our adoption.
-Why did you choose to adopt?
After not being able to conceive naturally over the last several years we had several options to chose from. We chose adoption as it is something I have always wanted to do and we feel like this is where we were being lead. I read a great article that really hit home as well. It stated that you need to decide which is more important: being pregnant or being a parent. So after many months of prayer and consideration, here we are!
-Why would you want to meet the BM?
We want to meet the BM of our child to learn more about where our child came from. The BM chose to place her child for adoption which says that she truly cares about the child. There are other options that she could have chosen and adoption is such a selfless act that we respect her decision greatly. We want to know as much about the BM so that we can eventually tell our child all about where he/she came from. We also want the BM to get to know us so that she feels comfortable with her decision for us to parent the child.
-Will you get to name the baby?
Yes, we will get to name the baby. Once the BM signs consent over to us, we will have a new birth certificate made with the name we choose for the child.
-Is the adoption a "done deal?"
No, the adoption is not done deal. Once the BM delivers the baby, she may not sign a valid consent until 48 hours after the birth of the child or the day that she is discharged from the hospital. The BF may sign the consent any time after the birth of the child. Once the consent is signed it is binding and irrevocable from the moment it is signed unless it can be proven in court that the consent was obtained by fraud or duress. Then it will take another 6 months for the finalization to take place. Each state has different laws on when the consent may be signed. We are following Florida state laws as that will be the birth place of our child.
-What happens if the BM decides to parent the child?
We will stay with the same attorney we are working with in Florida and be matched with another BM. Financially, we will only be out the money that was spent for the BM's living and medical expenses already incurred.
-Are you nervous that the BM might change her mind?
Yes and no. Obviously this would be a devastating loss for us if she does decide to parent the child, but Glen and I both feel that if this child is meant to be our child, it will be our child. We have followed God's path up to this point so we will not stray now.
-When will the baby be able to go home with you?
Once the consent is signed, we will have custody of the child but will need to remain in the state of Florida until all paperwork is filed with the court. This process could take 3-5 days after we have custody of the child. After the paperwork is filed, we are free to leave Florida and head home with our baby!
Hopefully this Q & A session has helped answer some question that you may have been wondering about. If you have any further questions, feel free to post a comment and I will be happy to answer.
-Why did you choose to adopt?
After not being able to conceive naturally over the last several years we had several options to chose from. We chose adoption as it is something I have always wanted to do and we feel like this is where we were being lead. I read a great article that really hit home as well. It stated that you need to decide which is more important: being pregnant or being a parent. So after many months of prayer and consideration, here we are!
-Why would you want to meet the BM?
We want to meet the BM of our child to learn more about where our child came from. The BM chose to place her child for adoption which says that she truly cares about the child. There are other options that she could have chosen and adoption is such a selfless act that we respect her decision greatly. We want to know as much about the BM so that we can eventually tell our child all about where he/she came from. We also want the BM to get to know us so that she feels comfortable with her decision for us to parent the child.
-Will you get to name the baby?
Yes, we will get to name the baby. Once the BM signs consent over to us, we will have a new birth certificate made with the name we choose for the child.
-Is the adoption a "done deal?"
No, the adoption is not done deal. Once the BM delivers the baby, she may not sign a valid consent until 48 hours after the birth of the child or the day that she is discharged from the hospital. The BF may sign the consent any time after the birth of the child. Once the consent is signed it is binding and irrevocable from the moment it is signed unless it can be proven in court that the consent was obtained by fraud or duress. Then it will take another 6 months for the finalization to take place. Each state has different laws on when the consent may be signed. We are following Florida state laws as that will be the birth place of our child.
-What happens if the BM decides to parent the child?
We will stay with the same attorney we are working with in Florida and be matched with another BM. Financially, we will only be out the money that was spent for the BM's living and medical expenses already incurred.
-Are you nervous that the BM might change her mind?
Yes and no. Obviously this would be a devastating loss for us if she does decide to parent the child, but Glen and I both feel that if this child is meant to be our child, it will be our child. We have followed God's path up to this point so we will not stray now.
-When will the baby be able to go home with you?
Once the consent is signed, we will have custody of the child but will need to remain in the state of Florida until all paperwork is filed with the court. This process could take 3-5 days after we have custody of the child. After the paperwork is filed, we are free to leave Florida and head home with our baby!
Hopefully this Q & A session has helped answer some question that you may have been wondering about. If you have any further questions, feel free to post a comment and I will be happy to answer.
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Booking our trip to Orlando
Over the last week we have been in contact with our Case Worker who is the mediator between us and our BM. The case worker takes the BM to all of her doctors appointments and assists her with anything that she might need. We have confirmed our trip to meet our BM on January 11-12th. We will fly into Orlando, have dinner with the BM (birthmother), BF (birthfather) and the case worker. This dinner will allow us to get to know our BM and BF and for them to learn all about us. We are really looking forward to meeting them! Our case worker stated they are excited to meet us as well. Then, if all goes as planned we are to go with our BM to have a 3D ultrasound the next morning. This was a surprise to us! Our case worker mentioned it and said that our BM is okay with allowing us to go with her. So, hopefully if they are able to get this ultrasound scheduled while we are in town, we will find out the sex of the baby and see what he or she looks like! After the ultrasound we will have lunch together and then head back to Kansas City. It will be a packed two day trip but we are super excited for January to get here.
Only one more day before our Thanksgiving celebration! Glen is picking up my sister, nieces and David at the airport tomorrow afternoon. Then Glen's mom, sister, brother-in-law and nephew will get into town tomorrow night. We are expecting 18 family members at our house on Thanksgiving Day! We have so much to be thankful for and really owe it all to God. He has walked with us every step of the way and we thank Him for the path He has led us on.
Only one more day before our Thanksgiving celebration! Glen is picking up my sister, nieces and David at the airport tomorrow afternoon. Then Glen's mom, sister, brother-in-law and nephew will get into town tomorrow night. We are expecting 18 family members at our house on Thanksgiving Day! We have so much to be thankful for and really owe it all to God. He has walked with us every step of the way and we thank Him for the path He has led us on.
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Boy or Girl?
As I mentioned in my last post, we were hoping to find out the gender of the baby over the past few weeks. Well, we are still waiting to get the news! The birthmother went in for her ultrasound and the baby wouldn't cooperate for them to see if it is a boy or a girl. So, as we seem to be so good at waiting, we will wait some more!
We spoke with the attorney in Florida this past week. Everything is going smooth with the birthmother as planned. When she went in for her last check-up she was measuring 3 1/2 weeks bigger than the week she was in. Sounds to me like either a big baby or the baby might come sooner than planned. After discussing things with the attorney, Glen and I have decided we will meet the birthmother sometime in early January. We have been looking into flights to the Orlando area as the birthmother lives outside of Orlando. This meeting will take place with a representative from the attorney's office. Any time we meet with the BM or send her cards, etc. it will be mediated by an individual from the law office. This ensures everyone that everything is done legally. We are learning alot about laws these days!
Glen and I also spoke with a BM from our adoption agency this week. It is a service that our agency provides to prepare us for when we meet our BM. The BM we spoke with works for our agency and placed her child for adoption 19 years ago. She gave us great insight on what type of questions the BM might ask us and what questions are acceptable to ask her. She was very great to work with and told us to remember that this is just as emotional for us as it is for the BM.
I can't believe Thanksgiving is just around the corner! Glen & I are preparing to host it at our house again this year. This is Glen's favorite holiday and he can't wait for the day to be here. We plan to have about 20 family members over to share in this wonderful holiday. Glen's family will stay with us for a few days while they are in town and my sister and niece's will be staying with my mom. We are super excited to spend this time with our family.
We spoke with the attorney in Florida this past week. Everything is going smooth with the birthmother as planned. When she went in for her last check-up she was measuring 3 1/2 weeks bigger than the week she was in. Sounds to me like either a big baby or the baby might come sooner than planned. After discussing things with the attorney, Glen and I have decided we will meet the birthmother sometime in early January. We have been looking into flights to the Orlando area as the birthmother lives outside of Orlando. This meeting will take place with a representative from the attorney's office. Any time we meet with the BM or send her cards, etc. it will be mediated by an individual from the law office. This ensures everyone that everything is done legally. We are learning alot about laws these days!
Glen and I also spoke with a BM from our adoption agency this week. It is a service that our agency provides to prepare us for when we meet our BM. The BM we spoke with works for our agency and placed her child for adoption 19 years ago. She gave us great insight on what type of questions the BM might ask us and what questions are acceptable to ask her. She was very great to work with and told us to remember that this is just as emotional for us as it is for the BM.
I can't believe Thanksgiving is just around the corner! Glen & I are preparing to host it at our house again this year. This is Glen's favorite holiday and he can't wait for the day to be here. We plan to have about 20 family members over to share in this wonderful holiday. Glen's family will stay with us for a few days while they are in town and my sister and niece's will be staying with my mom. We are super excited to spend this time with our family.
Sunday, October 24, 2010
March 14, 2011
We have officially been matched with a birthmohter and her due date is March 14, 2011!!!!! Glen and I are both so excited and can't wait for the arrival of the baby. We were matched with a birthmother from Florida last Sunday, October
17th. We hope to find out the gender of the baby in the next week or two.
We can't explain the emotions that we have gone through in the last week. God is shining down on us and we are so thankful for His love. From the start of this journey, we have followed where He has lead us and we are so grateful to be where we are today.
We ask that our friends & family pray for the birthmother: that she delivers a healthy baby and prayers for her to be at peace with her decision in her adoption plan.
Thank you all for your support and prayers on this journey we have begun!
17th. We hope to find out the gender of the baby in the next week or two.
We can't explain the emotions that we have gone through in the last week. God is shining down on us and we are so thankful for His love. From the start of this journey, we have followed where He has lead us and we are so grateful to be where we are today.
We ask that our friends & family pray for the birthmother: that she delivers a healthy baby and prayers for her to be at peace with her decision in her adoption plan.
Thank you all for your support and prayers on this journey we have begun!
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Positive Adoption Language
As you have probably figured out by now, neither of the 2 BM's that we submitted our profile book to worked out. One of the BM's chose another family within our same referral service but located in South Carolina. The other BM has not made an adoption plan as of now. When we heard the news that we were not chosen it was very upsetting. Glen said it perfect, it felt like seeing a negative on a pregnancy test. Even though there are so many possibilities out there, just sending the book to a BM is emotional. Thinking that this could be the one. I hope to not get tied up and emotional about each situation but in reality, it is difficult not too. So, hopefully this week will bring more BM's and more possibilities for us.
Glen and I attended an educational workshop provided by our agency that performed our homestudy. We learned a lot of information and wanted to share some of it with you. One of the more interesting things we would like to share is the positive adoption language. The following positive adoption language is used instead of the negative language that helps perpetuate the myth that adoption is second best. By using positive adoption language, we educate others about adoption.
Positive Language:
Placed baby for adoption
Made an adoption plan
Chose adoption
Parenting/deciding to parent
Birth parent
Could not conceive
Negative Language:
Gave up a baby
Gave away a baby
Put up for adoption
Keeping the baby
"Real" parent
Couldn't have their "own" child
I know I have used the negative language in the past. Now that I am educating myself on the subject of adoption I cringe thinking about who I may have offended. The BM's love their children enough to give them life. That is the greatest gift of all and I respect the BM's who chose life over the alternative.
Glen and I attended an educational workshop provided by our agency that performed our homestudy. We learned a lot of information and wanted to share some of it with you. One of the more interesting things we would like to share is the positive adoption language. The following positive adoption language is used instead of the negative language that helps perpetuate the myth that adoption is second best. By using positive adoption language, we educate others about adoption.
Positive Language:
Placed baby for adoption
Made an adoption plan
Chose adoption
Parenting/deciding to parent
Birth parent
Could not conceive
Negative Language:
Gave up a baby
Gave away a baby
Put up for adoption
Keeping the baby
"Real" parent
Couldn't have their "own" child
I know I have used the negative language in the past. Now that I am educating myself on the subject of adoption I cringe thinking about who I may have offended. The BM's love their children enough to give them life. That is the greatest gift of all and I respect the BM's who chose life over the alternative.
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