Monday, December 20, 2010

Q & A Session

Over the past several months, we have had many questions from family and friends regarding our adoption. So we thought we would take this time to answer some of the most asked questions about our adoption.

-Why did you choose to adopt?
After not being able to conceive naturally over the last several years we had several options to chose from. We chose adoption as it is something I have always wanted to do and we feel like this is where we were being lead. I read a great article that really hit home as well. It stated that you need to decide which is more important: being pregnant or being a parent. So after many months of prayer and consideration, here we are!

-Why would you want to meet the BM?
We want to meet the BM of our child to learn more about where our child came from. The BM chose to place her child for adoption which says that she truly cares about the child. There are other options that she could have chosen and adoption is such a selfless act that we respect her decision greatly. We want to know as much about the BM so that we can eventually tell our child all about where he/she came from. We also want the BM to get to know us so that she feels comfortable with her decision for us to parent the child.

-Will you get to name the baby?
Yes, we will get to name the baby. Once the BM signs consent over to us, we will have a new birth certificate made with the name we choose for the child.

-Is the adoption a "done deal?"
No, the adoption is not done deal. Once the BM delivers the baby, she may not sign a valid consent until 48 hours after the birth of the child or the day that she is discharged from the hospital. The BF may sign the consent any time after the birth of the child. Once the consent is signed it is binding and irrevocable from the moment it is signed unless it can be proven in court that the consent was obtained by fraud or duress. Then it will take another 6 months for the finalization to take place. Each state has different laws on when the consent may be signed. We are following Florida state laws as that will be the birth place of our child.

-What happens if the BM decides to parent the child?
We will stay with the same attorney we are working with in Florida and be matched with another BM. Financially, we will only be out the money that was spent for the BM's living and medical expenses already incurred.

-Are you nervous that the BM might change her mind?
Yes and no. Obviously this would be a devastating loss for us if she does decide to parent the child, but Glen and I both feel that if this child is meant to be our child, it will be our child. We have followed God's path up to this point so we will not stray now.

-When will the baby be able to go home with you?
Once the consent is signed, we will have custody of the child but will need to remain in the state of Florida until all paperwork is filed with the court. This process could take 3-5 days after we have custody of the child. After the paperwork is filed, we are free to leave Florida and head home with our baby!

Hopefully this Q & A session has helped answer some question that you may have been wondering about. If you have any further questions, feel free to post a comment and I will be happy to answer.