Sunday, October 10, 2010

Positive Adoption Language

As you have probably figured out by now, neither of the 2 BM's that we submitted our profile book to worked out. One of the BM's chose another family within our same referral service but located in South Carolina. The other BM has not made an adoption plan as of now. When we heard the news that we were not chosen it was very upsetting. Glen said it perfect, it felt like seeing a negative on a pregnancy test. Even though there are so many possibilities out there, just sending the book to a BM is emotional. Thinking that this could be the one. I hope to not get tied up and emotional about each situation but in reality, it is difficult not too. So, hopefully this week will bring more BM's and more possibilities for us.

Glen and I attended an educational workshop provided by our agency that performed our homestudy. We learned a lot of information and wanted to share some of it with you. One of the more interesting things we would like to share is the positive adoption language. The following positive adoption language is used instead of the negative language that helps perpetuate the myth that adoption is second best. By using positive adoption language, we educate others about adoption.

Positive Language:
Placed baby for adoption
Made an adoption plan
Chose adoption
Parenting/deciding to parent
Birth parent
Could not conceive

Negative Language:
Gave up a baby
Gave away a baby
Put up for adoption
Keeping the baby
"Real" parent
Couldn't have their "own" child

I know I have used the negative language in the past. Now that I am educating myself on the subject of adoption I cringe thinking about who I may have offended. The BM's love their children enough to give them life. That is the greatest gift of all and I respect the BM's who chose life over the alternative.


  1. i think in a way it's great that you get invested every time you send the book because it just means you truly care and want to welcome that baby, but I can imagine how that would be very hard!

  2. Meagan, I never knew anything about adoption until you and Glen started this process, and it has been a learning experience. One, that you and Glen will be able to help others down the road that may consider adoption. I am so excited about all of this, that I can hardly stand it! I just have a hard time being patient. You and Glen do a much better job at it than I do. The wait, however, will be worth it, I'm sure.